PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTS… AND GRAB YOUR SHERBET DIB DABS…

CHIRON MOVING FORWARD …..

SET THE SCENE…

VILLAIN SITTING IN LEATHER BOUND HIGH BACKED CHAIR… ROOM WITH LIBRARY OF BOOKS…. ROARING LOG FIRE AND PRICELESS ARTIFACTS LINE THE WALLS….AND THE SUPER HERO ENTERS THROUGH THE DOOR….   CUE MUSIC…..CUE LIGHTING ON HEROES FACE AND BEADS OF SWEAT ON BROW….OO’ER ITS ALL BUILDING UP TO SOMETHING…

AND THEN….SLOWLY THE CHAIR SWINGS ROUND AND BEHIND THE DESK SITTING IN SAID CHAIR IS THE VILLAIN.    IS HE GOLD FINGER? IS HE JUST A MAN SITTING WITH A LARGE CAT ON HIS LAP STROKING HIS PUSSY?   LETS HAVE A LOOK……

IS THE HERO WHO ENTERS THE SCENE SOMEONE FAMILIAR TO YOU?   THERE IS A FEELING AS YOU LOOK AT THIS IMAGE YOU KNOW THOSE EYES.   YOU KNOW THAT BROW.    IT IS SOMEONE YOU ARE ONLY REACQUAINTING YOURSELF WITH AFTER A LONG SLEEP.   STRETCH SLOWLY, BREATHE DEEPLY.   SAY HELLO.    THE VILLAIN (IF YOU CAN CALL HIM THAT) IS WATCHING YOU.    YOU ARE ENTERING THE DRAGONS DEN …THE ARENA… THE PLACE WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD.   AND OH MY YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT.  I KNOW YOUR KNEES ARE WOBBLING AND YOUR HEART IS GOING TO BOUNCE UP OUT THROUGH YOUR THROAT …LANDING ON THAT SPOTLESS WHITE SHAG PILE CARPET… BUT YOU DON’T CARE!!!   LET THE BLOOD STAINS BE THE MARK OF YOUR EXISTENCE.   WHO CARES IF THERE IS NO GUARANTEE THE STAIN CAN’T BE REMOVED.. EVEN WITH VINEGAR..LOL.    YOU ARE ENTERING THE PLACE OF THE AKASHIC RECORDS.. AND YOU SEE A GUARDIAN SITTING THERE.   SOMEONE YOU THINK YOU KNOW … DOES HE LOOK A BIT LIKE SOMEONE YOU KNEW IN THIS LIFETIME?   OR IS HE A HER AND HAS A FAMILIAR SMILE.   ARE THEY HOLDING SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO YOU?   MAYBE ITS NOT A FELINE…MAYBE ITS SOMETHING MUCH MORE PERSONAL.  MAYBE ITS ACTUALLY A FEELING…  THIS IS A BIG BUILD UP ISN’T IT LOL… LETS MAKE IT WORTH IT BELOVEDS..  GET THAT KETTLE ON.   TEAR OPEN THE HOB KNOBS WITH YOUR TEETH …AND TAKE A SEAT LOL.

YOU SEE, ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL.   LET’S CALL HER CHARLOTTE (OR CHARLIE) AS IT WILL COVER BOTH SEXES!     SHE’S HAPPILY GROWING UP IN AN IDYLLIC LANDSCAPE (OR THAT IS WHAT HER MEMORY SHOWS HER)  OF SUNNY DAYS AND HOME MADE LEMONADE.    CHARLIE IS SHY AND NOT AS CONFIDENT AS HER BROTHERS AND SISTERS SO SHE TENDS TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME MAKING UP IMAGINARY FRIENDS TO PLAY WITH AND FINDS COMFORT IN THEIR APPROVAL OF HER!   SHE GROWS AND BECOMES A YOUNG WOMAN AND LIFE LEADS HER IN MANY WAYS.   SHE HAS NO DEFINITE PLAN.   YOU SEE CHARLIE ALWAYS ACCOMMODATES THE PEOPLE AROUND HER SO TO GAIN THEIR APPROVAL.   NOT IN AN EGOTISTICAL WAY BUT SO SHE WILL FEEL SHE IS PART OF THE FAMILY, OR GROUP OR GATHERING.    BUT THERE IS ALWAYS A LITTLE PIECE INSIDE HER HEART THAT IS SAD.    EVEN WHEN SHES LAUGHING AND IN THE MIDDLE OF A CROWD.    NOT THAT SHE DOESN’T LOVE HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS..ITS JUST AS IF SHE IS AN ONLOOKER… LOOKING ON AT THE PEOPLE SHE LOVES AS THEY ARE COMFORTABLE IN THEIR OWN SKINS..OR SO IT WOULD SEEM.

THE YEARS GO BY AND SHE HAS HAD RELATIONSHIPS AND BEEN HAPPY AND SAD…AND LOST AND THEN FOUND AGAIN!!  SHE RUNS THE WHOLE SPHERE OF EMOTIONS AND FINDS COMFORT WITH OTHER FRIENDS WHO HAVE HAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES..  AND SHE KNOWS SO MUCH MORE THROUGH HER EXPERIENCES AND FINDS GREAT COMFORT IN FRIENDS WHO UNDERSTAND HER AND SEEKS THEM OUT …AND OTHERS WHO WILL GUIDE HER OR JUST TO BE AROUND THOSE WHO ARE THE SAME.

AND THEN ONE DAY… THERE IS A LITTLE NIGGLE… CHARLIE IS NOT THE LITTLE GIRL OR EVEN A GIRL ANYMORE …SHE HAS BECOME A WOMAN… AND SHE HANKERS FOR THE TIMES WHERE SHE SAT IN HER ROOM WITH A BOOK… AND HER FRIENDS ONLY VISIBLE TO HER…AND SOMETHING HAPPENS.    THE COMFORT SHE FOUND FROM BEING ON THE COUCH WATCHING TELLY OR READING OR JUST BEING WITH FRIENDS IS NOT AS COMFORTABLE ANY MORE.    SOMETHING IS BEGINNING TO IRRITATE CHARLIE AND IT CAN’T BE CURED BY A CREAM…. SHE LOOKS AT HER SURROUNDINGS.   SHE HAS THE LATEST SHABBY CHIC FURNITURE.   HER CLOTHES REFLECT SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO LOOK AS IF THEY DO NOT CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT HOW THEY LOOK BUT THEY ARE SELECTED VERY CAREFULLY…AS ARE ALL HER ACCESSORIES!    HER FRIENDS ARE WONDERFUL…BUT THOSE SHE CAN RELATE TO BECOME FEWER AND FEWER AND SHE FEELS SHE IS IN DANGER OF BECOMING THE CAT LADY.    WHEELING OUT HER TROLLEY BAG TO TESCOS AND VISITING THE POST OFFICE ONCE A WEEK….SHE WAKES UP IN A SWEAT..HER HEART POUNDING.    SHE HAS HAD SUCH A VIVID DREAM…..SHE WAS IN A LONG CORRIDOR…WALKING AND WALKING AND ON THE WALLS WERE LOTS OF PHOTOS. SHE TOOK THE TIME TO LOOK AT SOME AND THEY WERE IMAGES OF HER!!  FROM CHILDHOOD AND WITH PEOPLE WHO HAD GONE .   SMILING FACES OF THE PAST.   MOTHER/FATHER AND ROSY GLOWS AROUND FAMILY.    AND A LITTLE GIRL WITH SAD EYES AND A HAPPY SMILE WHO SEEMS LOST IN THE IMAGE.     HER HEART POUNDS AND A SINGLE TEAR FLOWS GENTLY DOWN ONE CHEEK.

IT BRINGS HER TO A MEMORY OF BEING VERY SMALL… RESTING ON THE COUCH IN FRONT OF THE TELLY!!!    SHE WASN’T ASLEEP OR EVEN NODDING OFF.. JUST ON HER OWN AS FAMILY CAME AND WENT INTO THE ROOM AND ABOUT THEIR BUSINESS.    SHE GAZED UP AT THE ROOF AND IT DISAPPEARED!!   SHE WAS ROOTED TO THE SOFT FURNISHINGS…. SHE COULDN’T MOVE!!   AND YET SHE COULDN’T SCREAM EITHER.    BUT LAYING BACK ON THE VELVET CUSHION SHE GAZED UP AT A GAZILLION STARS.  AND SOMEWHERE IN THAT LITTLE HEART SHE KNEW…. SHE KNEW.

THE WHOLE IMAGE WAS BROKEN WHEN HER FATHER CAME IN LOOKING FOR HIS SHOES!   SHE TRIED IN THE BEST WAY SHE COULD TO RELATE THE AMAZING THING THAT HAD HAPPENED.    BUT BEING A DAD.. AND WANTING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT.. HE COMFORTED HER WITH THE WORDS “YOU WERE ASLEEP PET… YOU WOKE UP SUDDENLY THATS ALL.  AND MAYBE YOU WERE WATCHING DOCTOR WHO!”

BUT AS CHARLIE WALKED ALONG THE CORRIDOR IN HER DREAMS AS A WOMAN… SHE REMEMBERED THE LITTLE GIRL WHO HAD TRAVELLED TO THE STARS AND CAME BACK AS THE STAR BEING… THE WALK IN… THE DIVINE SELF WHO CAME TO HAVE A HUMAN EXPERIENCE.

CHARLIE KNEW SHE WAS WALKING BACK INTO A PLACE IN HER HEART SHE HAD LONG FORGOTTEN.   SHE KNEW ENOUGH FROM ALL THOSE SELF HELP BOOKS ..DREAMS ARE DEFINITE SIGNS THEY SAY!!     SHE SAW HERSELF WALK ALONG THE CORRIDOR OF DOORS AND IMAGES AND FOR EACH PICTURE SHE STOOD AT SHE GRIEVED A LITTLE FOR THOSE IN THE IMAGE AND SHE SMILED FOR THE MEMORIES THAT WERE HER PAST.    ALONG THE CORRIDOR ONE DOOR AT THE END STOOD OUT FOR HER.   IT WAS AS IF IT WAS CALLING HER NAME.    SHE FELT A PULL IN HER SOLAR PLEXUS AND HER STOMACH WAS IN KNOTS!!    IT WAS AS IF SHE WAS ON A CONVEYOR BELT BEING PULLED TOWARDS THIS LARGE LOOMING DOORWAY.

SHE STANDS AT THE DOOR…. IT OPENS WITHOUT HER TOUCH.    SHE ENTERS THE ROOM…

SET THE SCENE:

THE ROOM IS FULL WITH A WALLED LIBRARY … BOOKS FROM FLOOR TO CEILING.    A ROARING AMBER FIRE WARMS HER FACE.    A PURE WHITE CARPET ..ALMOST LIKE A BED OF FEATHERS IS UNDER FOOT AND SHE FEELS AS IF THEY ARE LIFTING HER UP!    THERE ARE BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THIS ROOM.   NOT FLASHY OR SHOWY…BUT THINGS SHE FIND FAMILIAR… STATUTES SHE WANTS TO TOUCH.    EVERYTHING APPEARS VERY TACTILE.   SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE SHE KNOWS THIS ROOM FROM HER MEMORY BUT IT IS JUST OUT OF REACH.    AS SHE TURNS SHE BECOMES AWARE OF THE LONG TABLE AND THE HIGH BACKED LEATHER CHAIR.     HER HEART POUNDS… A BEAD OF SWEAT RUNS ACROSS HER TEMPLE.    A SINGLE TEAR MAKES ITS WAY DOWN HER SOFT CHEEK.     SURELY THIS IS SOMETHING FROM A FILM…SOMETHING SHE MUST HAVE SEEN AND MAYBE HAD A CHEESE SANDWICH BEFORE BED?   IT MUST HAVE SETTLED IN HER STOMACH AND GAVE HER VERY CHEESY DREAMS…JUST AS HER MOTHER HAD WARNED HER!    BUT NO…. AS SHE STANDS THERE SHE FEELS AS IF SHE IS FULLY AWARE OF WHO SHE IS.    SHE STANDS FIRMLY ON THAT FEATHERY WHITE CARPET.  SHE HEARS A THOUGHT IN HER HEAD?   A VOICE??   A SOFT EVEN TONED VOICE.   NOT SCARY …NO VINCENT PRICE ECHOES HERE….  IT ASKS HER.. ARE YOU READY TO REVEAL WHO YOU ARE BELOVED?

SHE INSTINCTIVELY SAYS YES!   OH NO WHY DID I SAY THAT!   I COULD NEVER SAY NO…EVEN WHEN I WAS A CHILD SHE THOUGHT.   WHO AM I KIDDING EVEN WHEN I WAS AN ADULT!!!!   AND AS THE YES REVERBERATES THROUGH HER SENSES THE CHAIR TURNS…..AND A SOFT GOLDEN GLOW FILLS THE ROOM.      THE MOST KINDLY FACE STARES BACK AT HER AND SMILES.      WELCOME HOME.     THE LIPS NEVER MOVED!!  WOW… BUT IT WAS A DEFINITE VOICE IN HER HEAD AND SHE ANSWERED THE SAME WAY!    SHE NEVER MOVED.    JUST STOOD WITH THE OPENED DOOR BEHIND HER AND THE FIRE GLOWING.

CHARLIE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS READY FOR …BUT SHE KNEW SHE WAS READY TO BE HER!    WHATEVER THAT MEANT SHE KNEW IT HAD A MUCH DEEPER MEANING THAT SHE COULD COMPREHEND IN AN EARTHY WAY.    SHE DID NOT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE AT THAT MOMENT ONLY THAT SHE WAS THERE AND SHE KNEW…..

THE BEAUTIFUL BEING IN THE CHAIR….SAID …YOU HAVE REMEMBERED.    AND THE STARS AND THE PLANETS ARE ALIGNING TO HELP YOU.    AND AS THE DAYS AND MONTHS GO BY YOU WILL SEE HOW.   YOU CANNOT KNOW IN AN EARTHLY WAY AS THIS IS ABOUT YOUR DIVINE PLAN.    BUT IT WILL MAKE IT SELF KNOWN TO YOU IN THE SITUATIONS YOU FIND YOURSELF IN AND HOW YOU REACT.   HOW YOU SHOW YOURSELF TO BE WHEN WITH OTHERS.    HOW YOU SPEAK CLEARLY WHEN ASKED A QUESTION TRUTHFULLY.     THERE IS NO JUDGMENT.   YOU WILL JUST BE.      AND IN BEING YOU, YOU WILL STOP ASKING QUESTIONS OF YOURSELF THAT YOU ALREADY REALLY KNOW.    THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE IS ONE WHERE LOTS OF QUESTIONS ARE ASKED.   BUT THE DIVINE STAR BEING IS AN EXPERIENCE OF FOLLOWING THE HEART WITH LOVE.    YOU REMEMBER THERE IS A WORLD BEYOND THE ONE YOU INHABIT AND YOU ARE PART OF THAT WORLD TOO.   YOU WILL REMEMBER THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS DEATH REALLY.   HUMANS DIE DURING THEIR LIFETIMES WHILE STILL ALIVE.      AND THE COMFORT WE SEEK IS ALWAYS WHEN WE LISTEN TO THE TRUE HEART.   THE HEART THAT HAS NO MOTIVE ONLY TO BE PART OF THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE WHILE LEARNING TO LIVE IN A DIVINE WAY.

THIS WAS A LOT TO TAKE IN!     AND CHARLIE HAD NO NOTEPAD OR PEN!!   BUT SHE KNEW SHE WOULD REMEMBER.     THERE WAS A LARGE SPHERE ON THE LAP OF THIS BEAUTIFUL BEING …. LIKE A LARGE ROUNDED PET..SITTING THERE.     HELD BETWEEN THEIR HANDS AND GENTLY CARESSED.      CHARLIE INSTINCTIVELY RAISED HER HANDS AND HELD THEM OUT.      AND THE KINDLY ONE DID THE SAME AND LET GO OF THE SPHERE THEY HELD.

HERE IS THE MEMORY OF THE WOUND.    WHEN YOU ARE GIVEN THE MEMORY OF THE WOUND YOU HAVE FOUND THE GIFT OF LIVING.    IT CEASES TO BE YOUR CHALLENGE AND YOU REMEMBER HOW TO CREATE.    YOU BECOME ETERNAL….AND WITH THAT THERE ARE NO QUESTIONS YOU CANNOT ANSWER.   YOU SEEK THE ANSWERS FROM YOUR OWN SOUL.    YOU DO NOT ANSWER OTHERS SOUL QUESTIONS ANY MORE… YOU GUIDE THEM TO LOOK FOR THE WOUND SO THAT CAN EMBRACE IT AND THEN ONCE AGAIN THEY CAN ANSWER THEIR OWN QUESTIONS…OF WHY AND HOW.

JUST AS CHARLIE WENT TO SAY THANK YOU SOOO MUCH… AND HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE …WHAT IS YOUR NAME… THE IMAGE BECAME A DOVE.. A BEAUTIFUL BIRD THAT FLEW AND WENT HIGHER AND HIGHER AS THE CEILING DISAPPEARED….AND BECAME ONE OF THE STARS SHINING ABOVE.       AS SHE WOKE UP SHE KNEW HER LIFE WOULD BE DIFFERENT.    HER BEING ON EARTH MEANT SOMETHING.   JUST AS IT DOES FOR EVERYONE ELSE.    BUT CHARLIE KNEW.   AND SHE WANTED OTHERS TO KNOW.    AND SHE WANTED THEM TO BE ABLE TO GO INTO THAT ROOM AND RECEIVE BACK WHAT WAS THEIRS ALL ALONG……THEIR HEARTS.

THAT DAY AS SHE WALKED IN THE PARK.   THE GRASS WAS GREENER AND THE SKY BLUER THAN SHE HAD EVER SEEN.   OR MAYBE SHE HAD JUST NEVER NOTICED.   AND PEOPLE WALKED BY SHE SMILED.     SHE RETURNED TO WORK… AND THOUGHT MAYBE IT WAS JUST A NICE DREAM….BUT SHE KNEW… AND BECAUSE SHE KNEW…SHE SMILED….

CHIRON MOVES FORWARD….. HOPES AND DREAMS LAY IN THE WOUND…. AND THE WOUND WAS REVEALED FOR MANY DURING 2016 ESPECIALLY.   EMBRACE THE HEART THAT BEATS IN YOU BELOVEDS.    THERE IS NOTHING TO FIX.   YOU ARE PERFECT IN EVERY WAY.    SHOW IT IN HOW YOU LIVE.   IN SAYING YES.. OR NO… AND JUST BEING YOU…..AND EXPECT MIRACLES …THEY HAPPEN EVERY DAY.

 

CAROLINE K BELOVED

APHRODITE BELOVED 2017