MARY TEACHINGS OF THE SOUL

I sat by myself and surrendered to being in the company of my own presence and God.   It was an uncomfortable journey for me.   In between the consciousness of letting go and surrender to where I was being led, there were many thoughts that came to me.   On the journey there I was surrounded by a symphony of noise.

I walked through thoughts that clung to me like a lost child who did not want to look to the comfort of an outstretched loving hand of a parent, only choosing to think the worst.    The journey to God, for me, brought me to the edge of all reasonable conclusions and somewhere between fantasy and fable.   It is in my experience that this is how it should be.  Every thought must invade the senses and every feeling must be felt and let go of before we can truly let go to what is an overwhelming sense of Being.     Our Teachers in the Temple guided us but they also taught us it had to be a journey that is taken by the self.   No one can do it for you and no one must.   It is part of the divine will and law of karma that the journey to self realisation must only be undertaken by the self you think you are to the Being who is all knowing and seeing within.

The signposts are the thoughts of every kind that come at you like an invasion of locus’ swarming around your mind and then abating to swoop in even further as you get closer to something you start to glimpse.   You get glimpses and sensations of peace and beyond that an indescribable sense of awareness.   You know every living being and plant on the Earth and are aware of everything yet have no attachment to the existence of anything other than your own self as witness.    You are the witness to the journey of your self and unless this journey is taken you will forever walk in spirals.   Jumping from one conclusion to the next when thoughts invade you.   Looking for love and joy where no lasting love or joy can ever be found if you do not know the Self.     It has nothing to do with religion or history of any kind.   It has nothing to do with the journey I myself took only that I can relate it to you in a way that is human and from a place that is divine.

What if you knew that the thoughts invading your journey are the signposts?   Every thought no matter how trivial or outlandish is a defining moment of awareness.   Here comes the reasoning of this statement…..You must choose if you believe this thought or you discard it as being a test of your belief in yourself as a Being who is eternal.   This is a journey you have undertaken before and these tests were part of your divine journey then.   It has long since left your memory but is deep within your cells where the true akashic records rest.     We will call some of these thoughts dark matter.    They come to test the awareness of Self and the self realisation.   In every way there must be a balance between the thought consciousness and awareness.    Because beyond the perception of thought lies the nothingness of everything!!!   It is a doorway to the soul that has been created by the Source of all that is God.

I knew I could reach that place inside me but could I come back the same person?  The answer I knew already in my heart and it was No.    One cannot travel so deeply into the psyche and the unconsciousness of the Universe within and come back the same.  How could you.    You are a time traveller and all the perceptions you have gathered in this life will be deconstructed by your journey as you travel through all of your existences as thoughts.    You will meet You.   In meeting you there must be an acceptance that you are beyond the place you see as Earth yet you must have a role here to play.

When I traveled I went as a pilgrim… a lone traveler with no expectation other than the journey being part of Me.   God would be there in my heart.    Mother would call me back if I went too far too soon.

The one thought I had not considered was Judgment….I had perceived that word to be exterior – to be felt by another who had cast judgment on me.   But I found it was I.. in the thought process and the consciousness who sat in judgment of Self.   This was my harshest lesson.   One I had found to be the first for many people who are sensitive by nature and aware of judgment by peers.    I was the Judge and I was the witness to me….Yet who is this I?  And why if I listen to this voice do I somehow recognise deep inside that it brings me to a gateway and the deepest part of my knowing.   The eternal me and the Star being.   I was to find out and it would be my revelation for all those to follow….

to be continued…

carolinek Mary Beloved